As salaamu ‘alaykum السلام عليكم ,
This post will be brief as I just wanted to share something that has been on my mind. Many times the harms from others leave such residue that we can potentially become the oppressor.
In defense of ourselves or loved ones, we may retaliate in a manner that can be just as blameworthy or worse than the individual who initiated the harm. We must be careful that in our time of hurt and anger that we do not transgress. Allaah takes care of those who strive toward patience. Allaah informs us in the Quraan what can be translated as: “ But if you endure patiently, verily, it is better for As-Saabiroon (the patient),” An-Nahl: 16:126
As the saying goes, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. This doesn’t mean we cannot defend ourselves , but when does enough become enough? When a person may keep bringing up what happened, or constantly dreaming about a day that some form of “payback” will happen.
Learning to deal with the harms of others takes time and patience because ignorance is widespread and at times, some people don’t even realize they’ve done anything wrong. I think back and remember in my youth how many things I’ve said and done that I had no clue at the time it was of any relevance to someone’s feelings. I think back and say “man I was so ignorant! What was I thinking?! Haha!
I say that to say, we all do something wrong to someone in our lives and we may not see it at first. Realize that even our beloved prophet was wronged unjustly on numerous occasions so who are we? He was physically and verbally assaulted, yet he still remained who he was. A kind and just man. Now I know you’re probably reading this like “yea but I’m not no prophet.” Hahaa! And it’s true we definitely aren’t, however we can strive our best to learn healthy techniques to aid us in not spending all our efforts on how to get revenge or feeling drained from the hurt we feel.
Some people are malicious with their harm and some aren’t . Although it’s not our job to find out which category they’re in , we can not allow their harm to take us out of character or bring us down to their level.
May Allaah الله grant us good character and patience Aameen.
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