As salaamu ‘alaykum السلام عليكم ,
It’s been a long time but I’m back! Alhamdulillaah الحمد لله . Where am I coming from you ask? Pregnancy and post partum. Although I’m still in my post partum stage, I still wanted to do some writing as I’ve truly missed it.
When writing you really have to be in the state of mind to write or “in the mood” and during the last trimester of my pregnancy, I just wasn’t feeling it. There’s so much I want to share but for now, I will be brief because as I’ve stated, I’m still technically post partum.
Alhamdulillaah الحمد لله our family has been blessed with child number seven and I thank Allaah الله everyday. With the blessings come many changes in a woman’s life after a baby. It’s not only physical changes, but the mental,emotional,spiritual, and so much more.
In the west, many women really struggle with the healing process. Many of us have not been trained on how to properly heal and the mentality that comes with this stage of life. Most are learning AS they go which can make matters worse. We are taught that the “snapback” of our bodies is what’s important. Getting our figures back, heading back to work, and back to being “normal.” And although these things play a part in recovery after a baby, they are not the MAIN issues.
Some cultures that I’ve witnessed have traditional regimen that they follow to help the woman fully heal before she goes back into the world. Certain homemade broths and clothing. Family to come cook and clean for her. Relatives to stay over and help with the baby so the mother can get some rest. If she has children, family assists with them too.
But what is the western woman’s post partum regimen? We are often times pressured into returning to regular work routines, no help with the children we may already have nor the newborn, back to cooking and cleaning, and criticized by others on our abilities or lack thereof . Now this is not EVERYONE’S situation, but too many to overlook that’s for sure!
Once we’ve had a baby, the sympathy and compassion toward the mother is NOT the same as when she was pregnant because the visible proof that she needs extra compassion is no longer present.( i.e. her pregnant belly being gone.) So people think, “well the baby is out, so she MUST be ok now.” In reality the mother is still in need of all the assistance she had during pregnancy but even more! She’s constantly trying to find her normalcy again and physically she’s sore and healing from inside out.
Alhamdulillaah الحمد لله for me, I’ve had an abundance of help and learned through the years to ACCEPT that help and not feel less than because of it. I’ve also learned to listen to my body and submit. Don’t fight when you’re tired trying to make a comback and get things done. If all you did that day was take care of the baby, you’ve done your job. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to get a certain amount of work done per day while you are healing.
And speaking of healing and recovery , there are a few things we need to do during this process to come out healthy , sane and happy:
Reading Quraan any minute you can get it in, even while nursing if possible.
Reading the morning and evening athkaar.
Continuing to take the organic prenatal pills
Taking herbs that help with the nourishment of the female reproductive system.
Getting plenty of rest.
Eating as healthy as possible broths, salads, tea etc.
Taking calcium pills if you’re breastfeeding.
Ask and accept help, don’t feel bad about it.
Listen to your body and don’t overlook things even if it’s something as small as a headache. But dont overreact either.
Stay hydrated.
Take snacks periodically throughout the day to prevent low blood sugar.
Talk to family and friends when you’re up to it.
These are only a FEW things that can be done. I needed to share this and I pray that even if this be of benefit for one sister out there, that would be a blessing. Elders , please keep sharing because there’s still so much for us to learn. Sisters, be compassionate. If you know another sister in your community that has had a baby, help out, don’t allow her to struggle. Family, be there. We’re all we got and everyone needs a helping hand sometimes. And lastly, those reciveing the help, give back when you’re healthy enough and be grateful to those who aided you.
Until next time In shaa Allaah , may Allaah الله reward all the mothers with good in this life and the next Aameen. The struggle is real and this is a huge trust that Allaah الله has granted the woman. To bare children and raise them upon righteousness, what a lofy position to have. Baarak Allaahu Feekum بارك الله فيكم
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