As salaamu ‘alaykum السلام عليكم ,
Helping one another is apart of the brotherhood, sisterhood, and humanity. We all need one another at some point in our lives. This also brings strength and unity. However even with all these factors, we do live in a world filled with takers and if we are not careful we can get taken. Let me explain further…..
Allaah has blessed me to be a caregiver for quite some years now , and I am also surrounded around people who give their all to help others. That being said, I understand that the people who assist others the most, are the first ones who neglect themselves before they will neglect another human being. Although being a reliable source of aid for others is a very noble deed, we must remember that we cannot be of any assistance if we break ourselves down or don’t take care of us first!
We are the first ones to feed and the last to eat. The first ones to drop what we are doing , and the last to pick back up. The first to spend for someone else, last in spending on ourselves. First to get someone else feeling better, and then rushing ourselves to feel better so we can get back to work all over again !!! This can go on and on , you get what I’m saying.
The point is , eventually we ALL need a break to take care of US! And if we don’t willingly do so, our mind and body will FORCE us to. Surely this is not the type of break we want. Constantly taking in others’ problems, stress, dishing out money and remedies , cooking , cleaning, learning, teaching, trying to fulfill the demands and rights of our own families, and so much more that cannot even be listed or it will get into writing a book! Everything must be in proportion, and that means even in doing good deeds there must be balance.
We cannot give and give until we are drained, rather take the time to do those things that keep us stable, balanced, and tranquil. That will firstly mean not placing anything above our worship. No matter who or what it is … husband, children, relatives etc, worship comes before all. If we are not careful the Shaytaan can use this good deed of aiding others as a weapon against us by making us lose sight of those affairs that are actually obligatory upon us. Before you know it, you’re stressing over other people’s issues and have tons that are right in your house being overlooked!
We have to learn when enough is enough and shut things down. Take care of our worship and health or we won’t be good for anyone else. Because once we crash, so will all that rely on our stability and efforts that Allaah has blessed us to be able to fulfill. The intent in being a caregiver or anything else for that matter is not to harm ourselves in the process.
Take time to cater to your own needs. I assure you this is NOT selfish. This is mandatory for our sanity. Take the time to perfect your worship and health they are connected. Take time and effort to smell and look your very best as much as possible , this is whether you’re married or not. Every woman needs to keep herself up both inside and out. Get out sometimes with family and friends. And if you are around people that make you feel less than and drain you for all you’ve got, then run fast because they’ll keep taking until you have nothing left and then go to the next just to use them as well.
Self preservation ladies, it’s o.k to put yourself first:
“It’s the natural design of Islaam to respect Prioritize preserve and always protect My Deen, my mind, my wealth, My honor, my lineage, myself.”
Baarak Allaahu Feekum بارك الله فيكم
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