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Writer's pictureQylah Umm Jannah

Optimism Toward Others

As salaamu ‘alaykum السلام عليكم ,

“Do not annoy the servants of Allaah الله , nor abuse them, nor seek their hidden shortcomings. Whoever seeks out the faults of his Muslim brother , Allaah الله will expose his faults and degrade him, even if he is hiding in his house.” Ahmad 5:279

We live in an age where news spreads within a few seconds by way of social media. With all the filth being spread about others on a constant basis, we find it difficult to think good of others.

That being said, in our Muslim communities we have been guilty when it comes to backbiting and slandering. “He said she said.” What’s worse is that there’s no filter on this even toward people we see are upright. What’s been the norm is that when we hear something bad we think “smh” (shaking my head) or even worse than that, add on or spread what’s been said.

This has been going on since the beginning of time. Assuming negative things about people and going even further to express and spread it whether you know if it’s true or not. We find a good example of this situation within the story of “The Ifk” or the slander about Aisha radhiallaahu ‘anhaa mother of the believers. You can find this story in more detail here “The Slander About Aaisha.” Radhiallaahu ‘Anhaa

When this slander occurred, the community was split into those who fell into great sin by spreading the slander, and those who were elevated and safeguarded by keeping quiet and thinking good of Aaisha radhiallaahu ‘anhaa. This story describes how the Muslim should think and behave when hearing some ills about one another. Because surely if righteous people were talked about , we will definitely be talked about at some point in our lives. We cannot control what people say about us but we can control our own actions and character.

Is it so hard to believe good about each other?! Some don’t even compliment others without having a hidden agenda or a deep down feeling of hate. People have become so scornful inside due to unhappiness in their own personal lives, it causes them to assume the very worst about someone else. Why then, did not the believers, men and women, when you heard it (the slander), think good of their own people and say: “This (charge) is an obvious lie ?” Soorah Noor ayah 12.

Changing our mentality to positive thinking both inwardly with ourselves and outwardly toward others is crucial in our way of life as Muslims. We cannot walk around thinking badly about people for no justified reason or mere suspicion. Some may say that this is a naive way to think when there’s so much corruption in the world however, let a person give you a reason to have your guard up, don’t just automatically assume they are bad! There’s a difference. And even when we do find that someone isn’t the best individual , it still doesn’t give us a pass to speak ill of them in the community.

Furthermore, we don’t try and find fault or shortcomings in people to fit our own false suspicions about them. When a person thinks negatively about someone, they create these ideas about them that many times have no basis. And just as soon as they hear the slightest ill about them they say “ HA ! I knew it!!” Because all along they had these negative thoughts brewing anyway.

Usually people that have these types of thoughts are the same people who also think bad of Allaah الله  which is even worse! Meaning losing hope in Allaah الله  when some hardsip comes, or  thinking that Allaah الله  will allow the WORST situation to occur upon someone etc. 

We must grow beyond these habits of negative thinking and flip it to hoping that what you heard isn’t really the case about that person. Also , if it does manifest that an individual is corrupt, then it is upon us to say things like:

“May Allaah الله forgive them and us.” 

“May Allaah الله protect us from that.”

“May Allaah الله guide them and us.”

There are so many duas we can offer toward these situations. We don’t want to ever believe that we are so much “better” than someone that we are excluded from sin and cannot wish good for others. No matter how messed up they seem to be. We don’t know if Allaah الله may test us with what that individual was tested with!

May Allaah الله safeguard us from arrogance and ignorance.

May Allaah الله make us of those who mind our own affairs and that which is waajib upon us.

May Allaah الله increase us in Husnul Dhun (having good thoughts) firstly about Allaah الله and secondly for others…. Aameen.

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