As salaamu ‘alaykum السلام عليكم ,
Remember where you came from ? Remember how the most easiest things for you to fulfill now, used to be the most difficult? Remember the people who were patient with you upon ignorance and bad decisions?
These are just a few reminders to think about when we engage with others. Especially when we get the opportunity to meet people from different walks of life. This is something we should treat delicately and be as genuine as possible.
In meeting others, we will see that everyone’s perception is not the same. Everyone believes, behaves , communicates and interacts differently . We cannot control peoples thoughts and actions nor should we have the right to! We can only be responsible for what WE do and at times we cannot even handle that appropriately yet, we are more concerned and critical of what others are upon. But it’s so much easier to be critical of others than ourselves…. Isn’t it? …..
We set standards and goals for ourselves to help us attain higher levels in life and this is a wonderful path to be upon however, setting standards and levels for others is not our place. Yes we can think highly of others, desire for them the best, and encourage them. What they do with that encouragement is upon the person … not you.
We must approach people where they are today not tomorrow. Allaahالله raises us in levels . As a matter of fact, the Quraan and the very religion of Al-Islaam were revealed in levels. Given to the people in a manner that they can digest and understand . Not forced and rushed. So when Allaahالله grants us the opportunity to meet others, (because meeting others is in fact an opportunity upon good) then we need to greet them at the level they are on … not the level we THINK they should be upon or WANT them to be upon right away.
Change is a process, not an event. Sure we shouldn’t have the idea to stay stagnated in one place for long, nor should we use excuses to be comfortable on the same level forever either. We need balance and we also need to remember that we were not always where we are today. There was a time we needed people to understand we weren’t ready for certain things yet , or that we didn’t have knowledge about a lot , and we expected that people would understand and aid us in growth . We STILL need this from those around us. There’s never a time that we won’t be in need of these things. The only change will be that sometimes we grow WITH people, while at other times we may OUTGROW some people. So with that in mind, we must meet people where they are and assist them upon the level that we ourselves are on.
Here are some tips below on how we can meet people where they are in a practical way In shaa Allaah ان شاء الله :
Remember where you came from Thinking back to our own personal struggles and even what we struggle with currently. This keeps us humble and allows us to leave room for space and understanding toward the person who may also be struggling.
Be a good listener …. Not a talker More often than not, we listen to others and as they speak we are already trying to find a comeback for what they’re saying. This cancels out your full attention and understanding of what the person is expressing to you. Don’t listen to respond, listen to really digest and care about what’s being expressed to you. Sometimes all a person needed was a supportive ear .
We still need to have caution with the listening ear as well because although we aim to support, we definitely don’t want to lend an ear to the wrong type speech. If a person shows signs of only calling upon you to vent, backbite, slander, or complain, with no steps toward taking advices of solutions to solve their problems, time to go! Self preservation comes first .
Have empathy In other words , “put yourself in their shoes” . Trying to realistically understand where the person is coming from makes for better compassion toward people.
Be sincere, genuine, and authentic Being sincere is key. Sincerity is the root to all that we do in life. Sincerely wanting good for another Muslim and human being in general, with the hopes of pleasing Allaahالله in the process. Being yourself, honest, upfront, and staying within your own limits of what you can and can’t handle when dealing with others. Be as genuine as possible, people can practically smell a fake and a phony. Be humble and stay connected to the people both below and above you this keeps us grounded as we benefit from all that is around us for those who ponder and reflect.
The Prophet (may peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Allaahالله has revealed to me that you should humble yourselves to one another. One should neither hold himself above another nor transgress against another.”
SaHeeH Muslim.
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