So your that ideal wife that does everything your supposed to.
You’re religious. You’re educated. You take really good care of yourself. If you have children , you take excellent care and concern for them. You cook and clean. You’re nurturing , affectionate , well spoken , and good to your husband……
Yet with all of this , your man finally works up the courage to say to you “I want another wife.”
And here you are… Torn apart , hurt, angry and words cannot express the rest.
Well ladies, you could be all that AND some. But it doesn’t mean that just because your an awesome wife, that this would prevent a man from desiring more…. More than you.
Men do not NEED a reason from us to desire more than one woman.
We just don’t want to GIVE them a reason to do so. Making it even more of an encouragement for men to desire another woman.
The desire for more than one wife is a male trait that men were born with.
It’s no less a desire for men than it is a woman wanting to have a baby.
One may think ” Why would a woman keep having children even though the pain is so intense?”
The reality is , generally woman desire that they can bear children. Despite the hardship we find it well worth it. And we cannot explain why …… Its just natural.
The same goes for a man … Marrying more than one woman is just a natural desire that they should not be blamed or admonished for.
If this weren’t a desire then what would be the reason Allaah made polygamy permissible? And furthermore, in Jannah one of the many rewards for men will be what? …. having multiple wives!
This is an actual reward that Allaah allows to the men . This in itself shows the inner desires of men. It’s simply … natural!
What a woman would be blameworthy for toward her husband is that she GIVES him a reason and pushes him to have a NEED for another wife by not being a good woman to him.
Polygamy is hard enough to deal with as it is. But at least if your a good wife and you know your doing your level best toward your husband , if he decided to have another wife you can feel good knowing at least you didn’t PUSH him out into the arms of another woman.
Of course there are many readers who may argue how many men don’t practice polygamy correctly, mistreat women, or are extremely immature etc etc. We can all argue that. And I agree. But those are not even the caliber of men I’m referring to here. Those men are not REAL men. And those men don’t even deserve to be added to this topic.
Now this doesn’t mean that we women should throw a party and be happy about polygamy either . (Although there are some women that actually LOVE polygamy may Allaah reward and bless them aameen.) Rather what I’m saying is that if our men come to us and express their feelings about this to us, then we should not blame them or come down on them for a natural feeling that they were born with.
Think of how hard it must have been for your man to humbly come to you and share his feelings about this with you. Remember that although you are hurt, he is going through a mixture of emotions as well. The main one being that he is hurt that he is the cause of your pain!
Depending on your family situation would determine your initial feelings about the matter of course. Meaning if he can afford it, is he mature enough , is he treating you fairly as it is, and the list goes on. Because in our minds we’re like “What do you mean you want another wife with your broke self?!” hahaha!!!
And although that may be whats running through our minds out of anger and hurt, surely we will find a better way to express that he may not be in the best financial state right?…. RIGHT … wink wink…
So in conclusion, men wanting more than one wife doesn’t take anything away from how good of a woman you are and how wonderful you’ve been to him. We just need to understand that men shouldn’t be criticized for what Allaah naturally created them with….. Desire to be with more than one woman. And although there are MANY men who do not practice polygamy do NOT think for one minute it’s not a desire of theirs.
Deep inside for many woman it is a fear to hear those words coming from our men. But at the end of the day, this life is temporary and how we react and deal with this situation or ANY situation that we encounter determines the reward we attain from Allaah.
In shaa Allaah until next time ladies…..
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